How do you help an U12 after an own goal?

Start by acknowledging the feeling rather than trying to erase it. You might say, 'You are really disappointed because you wanted to help the team.' Then bring the focus to what happened next. Did he keep defending, support a teammate or get involved again? An own goal is usually the result of a player trying to deal with danger. I would avoid making a huge positive speech, because that can accidentally make the moment feel even bigger. The most helpful teammate response is often brief: 'Unlucky, we go again.' On the journey home, let him decide whether he wants to talk. If he does, ask about the next action rather than replaying the own goal. One mistake does not need a lesson attached to it. The important learning is that he can feel disappointed and still return to the game. A simple phrase I like is: 'It hurt because you care, and you still stayed in the game.' That recognises both the disappointment and the recovery without turning the own goal into the main story of the day.