Private message from an U14 player asking for advice

I would respond supportively, but move the conversation into an appropriate channel. A player saying they are upset after a difficult game is exactly the sort of moment where a coach can help. The safeguarding boundary does not mean ignoring them. I would acknowledge the message, keep the response football/welfare related and avoid a private ongoing one-to-one chat. FA digital communication guidance for under-18s supports using group or transparent communication with a parent/carer or designated club adult included. You can say something like: “I’m glad you told me. Let’s talk properly tomorrow; I’m copying in the appropriate adult so we keep the communication as we should.” If the message suggests a safeguarding or immediate welfare concern, use the club welfare route rather than trying to handle it alone. Good boundaries and genuine support can exist together. The player should not learn that asking for help makes the coach disappear.