The Coaches' Room
7v7U10Confidence & Behaviour

One child seems left out even though the football is fine

Asked by Lucy_94
0 views 8 replies
There is a player in the team who trains well and gets normal game time, but socially they are always the one without a partner and rarely included in the little groups before training. They do not complain. How much responsibility should the coach take for helping friendships and belonging at U10?

VERIFIED COACH ANSWER

VERIFIED COACH RESPONSE

UEFA C Coach

Younger-player confidence, behaviour, parents and communication

Why don't we show coach names?
I think the coach has some responsibility here, even if the child has never complained. You cannot manufacture friendships, but you can stop the same social pattern repeating every session. Mix partners deliberately sometimes. Use small groups that change. Give the player jobs with different teammates. Notice whether they are always last into a pair and quietly make the organisation easier for them. I would not make them the centre of a “let’s include this player” conversation. That can feel worse. Belonging matters because it affects how willing a child is to ask for the ball, make mistakes and keep coming back. The football being fine does not mean the environment is fine. Small coaching decisions can create more chances for relationships to form without turning friendship into another task the child is being judged on.

COMMUNITY DISCUSSION

Join the football discussion. 8 replies

A

AishaHere

Club Volunteer / Official

small group jobs help. pair different children for balls bibs warm up. no big speech needed.
S

SaturdayAM

Coach

Exactly. Equipment pairs and rotating arrival games are an easy way to mix people without turning social inclusion into a formal exercise.
D

DogWalkUK

Community Member

I would be careful not to turn the child into a project. Mine would have hated knowing the coach was arranging friends for him.
C

CharlotteB

Parent

Yes. Quiet changes first. Being singled out for inclusion can feel like another way of being singled out.
E

EmmaD

Community Member

I would watch the unstructured bits as much as the session. Who do they warm up with, who do they walk back to the parents with, who gets picked when players make their own threes? That is often where you see it.
H

HampshireSarah

Community Member

Would you raise it with the parents if the child still seemed okay? I would want to know, but I can imagine some families hearing it as 'your child has no friends'.
C

CharlieInOxford

Community Member

My son joined a settled group and the coach quietly changed partners for a few weeks. Nobody announced why, but it stopped him always being the spare child when pairs were made.
V

VickyInGuildford

Community Member

This worked for one of ours too. The key was doing it with everyone, so it looked like normal rotation rather than 'you need to include this child'.