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One child is being mocked in the team group chat

Asked by MatchdayMick2
2047 views 12 replies
Most of it is being described as banter, but one U12 is clearly the target more often than everybody else and has stopped replying. Because it is happening away from training, some adults see it as a parent issue rather than football. At what point should the club treat online behaviour between teammates as a welfare concern?

VERIFIED COACH ANSWER

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VERIFIED COACH RESPONSE

UEFA B Coach

7v7 • 9v9 defending

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I would treat this as a football welfare issue even if the messages are being sent from home. If teammates are using a team-related group to repeatedly target one child and that player is withdrawing, the club has a reason to act. “Banter” is not a useful test. Look at the impact, the repetition and whether one player is being singled out. I would save or report the relevant information through the club welfare process rather than asking the child to confront the group themselves. The coach can also reset the team standard clearly: the same respect expected at training applies to team communication online. Do not run your own investigation through the chat or start publicly identifying who is to blame. Support the child, involve the appropriate adults and use the club’s anti-bullying/safeguarding procedures. A team environment does not stop at the touchline when the group chat is part of how the team communicates.

COMMUNITY DISCUSSION

Join the football discussion. 12 replies

M

MondayAgain

Community Member

Behaviour work should include the players doing the mocking, not only supporting the target. They need to understand the impact.
O

OldNotebook

Community Member

And parents may need involving. At U12 the club cannot solve repeated online behaviour with a five-minute team talk alone.
K

KingstonAndy

Community Member

There is also a difference between one bad joke and a pattern over weeks. The pattern is what made us realise our child was dreading training.
L

Louise2

Community Member

Our club now requires an adult-managed communication space for youth teams. Player-only chats still exist, but coaches do not pretend they are outside the welfare picture when issues spill into football.
M

MayaInKent

Community Member

I would also speak to the wider group about standards without announcing which child complained.
M

MatchdayMick82

Community Member

That matters. The child should not get a second round of abuse for telling on everyone.
D

DevonMegan

Community Member

We had screenshots sent to welfare rather than trying to moderate the chat in real time. It kept the evidence factual.
D

DogWalk82

Community Member

The phrase 'it's only banter' is usually coming from the people enjoying it, not the child receiving it.
H

Hendo

Community Member

Exactly. I look at whether the child can opt out without becoming the next joke. If not, it is not equal banter.
M

MattJ

Community Member

We had to reset our group-chat rules. Once the coach said online behaviour is part of the team environment, the excuses reduced.
C

ChrisD

Community Member

Banter is only banter if everyone is enjoying it. The pattern and impact tell you more than what the sender calls it.
C

coastroad

Community Member

If my child stops replying because they are always the joke, I would want the club to take that seriously even if the messages are sent at home.