The Coaches' Room
5v5U9Confidence & Behaviour

How do you manage an U8 who only wants to play with their best friend?

Asked by MikeT
1550 views 3 replies
We have two who are joined at the hip. If they are split in training one of them sulks, and in games they look for each other even when someone else is free. Do you keep separating them until they get used to it or use the friendship as a positive?

VERIFIED COACH ANSWER

VERIFIED COACH RESPONSE

UEFA C Coach

Sports Psychology Level 3

Why don't we show coach names?
I would use the friendship as a secure base, then gradually widen it. Constantly separating them from day one can make training feel like adults are taking away the person who makes them comfortable. Keeping them together all the time can make the dependency stronger. So I’d mix it. Some activities together, some apart. When they are separated, pair them with children who are likely to make the experience positive. In games, I would not tell them “stop passing to your friend”. Instead help them scan the whole picture: “Who else can you see?” I’d also praise moments where they connect with another teammate. The target is not breaking up the friendship. It is helping each child discover they can enjoy football and make decisions with the rest of the group as well. Good friendships are a strength; dependency is the bit you are gradually reducing.

COMMUNITY DISCUSSION

Join the football discussion. 3 replies

J

Jess1994

Community Member

We did one practice together, one apart, then random teams for the game. Eventually they stopped checking where the other one was before joining in.
G

GreyHoodie

Community Member

This sounds better than forcing it. We split two friends for a whole session once and one basically spent the hour waiting to be reunited.
K

KellyH

Community Member

I would not split them for everything. Having a safe person is probably why they both enjoy being there. Mix it gradually.