General•U7•Confidence & Behaviour

Best friend left the team and now my child wants to leave too

Asked by FridayFeeling7

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My seven-year-old still likes football, but the friend they joined with has moved clubs and now every training session starts with 'I don't want to go'. Would you give it a few weeks, look for another friend in the group, or accept that at this age the social side can be the main reason they play?

VERIFIED COACH ANSWER

VERIFIED COACH RESPONSE

UEFA C Coach

The Keep-Them-Playing Coach

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What changed before the attendance changed? In this case, you already have a strong clue: the friend left. At seven, the social part of football can be a huge part of why a child wants to be there. I would give it a little time, but actively help rather than simply hoping they adjust. Pair them with welcoming children, create small groups where they can connect, and make arrival feel easy rather than lonely. I would also ask what they still enjoy once the session actually starts. Sometimes the resistance is mainly the transition into the environment. If the child remains unhappy after a fair period, I would not turn staying into a lesson about commitment. Find the reason before adding more football — or before insisting they keep doing an environment that no longer feels right.

COMMUNITY DISCUSSION

Join the football discussion. 4 replies

JackN

Community Member

Could the old friend still be part of football occasionally? Even meeting up for a kickabout might help separate ‘my friend left the team’ from ‘football has gone’. I’d still let the child decide if the team no longer feels right.

NickS

Community Member

My son did exactly this when his mate moved. For about a month he insisted he hated football, but once he had someone new to arrive with the complaints faded. He mostly hated walking in alone.

Ryan35

Community Member

Walking in alone was the issue for ours too. Another parent started meeting us at the gate with their child for a few weeks. Tiny thing, huge difference.

Dan10

Community Member

I’d actively give them a route into another friendship rather than waiting. Pair them with a kind kid for one small activity, then change groups again. It doesn’t need to be made into a big social project.